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Two years ago my daughter Cora passed away. Writing those words seems so surreal to me still. I had a daughter, and her name was Coraline Erica Humphrey. I carried her for 22 weeks, and not a day goes by where I don’t think of her, miss her and love her.

I think of how she would look like right now. She would be almost two. I bet she would have curly hair like Idan, and possibly bright matching eyes. I think of her often when I am bathing Idan and how the tub is filled with toys and how she probably would be taking those toys away from him and dumping water on his head.

I think of the chaos that would have been my life if she and Tyr survived. How she and I would be outnumbered by the boys, but we would probably still win every match anyways. I think of what she would be like with her cousin only 18 months older and how Cora would be following her around with envy, like I do with her mom.

I wonder what her sweet voice would have sounded like. Would she have liked to make animal noises like Idan? Maybe she would have been a loud cryer waking up everyone in the neighborhood.

I think when a mom loses a child, the curse is always wondering what they would have been like, but the blessing is that in heaven they already know you.

I have so many more things I could say, but nothing I can write will convey the depth of my love for her, or all of my children. So I leave you blogging world with this song that connects me to her, and maybe someone out there who has lost their child can relate, and will be thinking of their own child as well.

Sing to me softly your tales of woe

I’ll cradle you closely, I won’t let go

I’ll speak to you gently of what I know

Don’t you cry

 

Lay your head down darling

The moon is sailing by

The stars are softly shining

The tide is full and high

 

We’ll fly to the edge, not as distant as it seems

And maybe we’ll find out the key to your dreams

So you just lay your head down darling

Sleep now, La la la la la

 

Winds blow, rains fall

But it’s warm by the fire’s light

Hush, don’t you see? You’re here with me

And there’s dawn at the end of the night

 

Lay your head down darling

The moon is sailing by

The stars are softly shining

The tide is full and high

 

We’ll fly to the edge, not as distant as it seems

And maybe we’ll find out the key to your dreams

So you just lay your head down darling

Sleep now, La la la la la

 

( -Sinead O’Connor)

 

I love you Cora Bell.

-Mom